Waiting to fly.


It’s only 9 am and I’ve come close to crying more times than I can count. This stress reminds me of heartbreak simply because it’s making me want to crack under the pressure of something huge; something I feel I can’t get through. It’s only a day though. A moment, really. And moments pass. I thought heartbreak would never pass – but it did, and if I got through that, I can get through a few hours of hard work, surely.

And then I’ll be on a plane. I love flying. I’m afraid of heights but when I’m on a plane, that height is unfathomable to me so I’m not frightened of it. Instead, I’m eternally fascinated: I love the grumbling rush of the plane as it ploughs down the runway, I find the lift-off always takes me by surprise – it always happens sooner than I expect – and I love that feeling of suddenly being weightless and airborne. I never tire of seeing the earth shrink by degrees, and watching cars and humans rush around their day like tiny lego people in a child’s make-believe world. Then, even that disappears under layers and layers of cloud. Those clouds. I wish so much that I could play in them.

I am really looking forward to the holiday. I need one badly. But there are people I will miss at home, even though I’m just leaving for a few weeks. Funny how you come across people you feel you can’t live without, even for a few days! It’s not that you can’t – it’s more that you just don’t want to. In a way, I think that’s even more powerful.

Being on a plane is, to me, a tiny holiday all on its own. I’m not a huge fan of airports but once I’m on the plane everything’s just fine. I strap into my seat, pull out my trusty iPod, the book I’ve chosen (very carefully) to last me the duration of the flight and my journal – just in case the mood takes me to write. I read and listen to music until the stewardess hands out the little ear plug thingy – which I’ve now realized I don’t need, because my iPod earphones fit just fine and the sound is much better when I use them. But I take the other pair of earphones anyway, just because I love plane things and how they come in their little plastic packaging!

By this time I would have hungrily gone through the in-flight movie schedule and painstakingly picked out what I want to see – usually around 3 or 4 according to how long the flight is. Flying on a new airline – as I will be doing tonight – always makes me a little anxious because I’m unfamiliar with their entertainment system. Still getting myself accustomed to it never takes long.

Once I put on my movie – that’s it; I’m good for the entire flight. I only break briefly to run to the loo or to graciously accept my plane food – another delight. I mentioned in a previous post that I loved finding order in the littlest things. This is another example of that. I love how everything comes in their neat little square or rectangular containers and how it all fits into that one tray. It’s such a delight, honestly. The only thing that’ll ruin it for me is if the dessert’s not fun.

So basically a plane provides me with everything I love to do to relax and gets me to fit it all into a few hours. A perfect mini-holiday.

That is, of course, until I reach the destination of my real holiday. I can’t wait.

I have so much work to do today – but dashing this out has me feel much more cheerful. It’s funny and kind of cool how I write to work through my sulks.

I’m going to get on a plane today. And I’m going to fly towards some of the people who love me and who I love the most in the world.

What could be better than that?

Published by


The real truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it. - Ally McBeal

12 thoughts on “Waiting to fly.”

  1. I love flying too Gypsy, all sort of airplanes, two seater’s to jumbos (waiting to get on a Airbus 380) but I had the best experience in flying I ever had, recently. I was given a one hour breakfast blimp (Goodyear) ride. Now all I want is to have another ride!
    Have a good holiday!

  2. Hope you had a nice flight, Gypsy. Wish I shared your enthusiasm for air travel.

    Whenever I have to take a plane, I visualize the preparation as movement down a funnel: a process of narrowing down, closing the focus, sloughing off extraneous matters and considerations, compressing one’s life into something that will fit into the long, narrow tube which is both the fuselage of the plain and the journey itself. Then, at the other end, the reverse process, unfunnelling, unfolding so to speak, as life resumes the multiplex complexity and confusion that is its normal state.

  3. (hums) “you’re leeeea…ving on a jet plane….”

    I love how you’re so excited about it and *finally! another person who likes airplane food! :) The lovely little containers tickle me too! Have fun, luv! Mwah!

  4. Hulio – Not really, given that I’ve been flying since the age I was 5, but yes, it still fascinates and thrills me.

    Magerata – Sounds cool!

    Palmyrah – But that itself sounds pretty wonderful to me. Almost like starting over. Small but new beginnings. Those hold charms all of their own :)

    Angel – Yay, I’m not the only one then! I hadn’t flown in 2 years so yeah I was excited. And it was a good flight – watched a few GREAT movies and the food was awesome. Haha. Thanks babe!

  5. I love coming to read your blog in my free time. You’re entries are great. I feel really ecstatic when I fly. A comedian has inspired me to say outloud whenever I take off in a plane, “Holy shit, I’m flying! I’m on a chair in the SKY!”

    I still think we should do a short fiction together. Maybe tagteam it :)

  6. Thank you for making me see flying in a different light. I read your piece two days before I got on a plane for a thirteen hour journey. I decided to change my frame of mind and think of it as a holiday and you know what? It worked. So thanks for that.

  7. Sue: It’s the most amazing feel ever, Sue. You should definitely try it. It’s no where near as scary as you think.

    The Black Duck: Thanks for the comment.

    Akashio: I feel the same about flying as you do. As for your proposition, maybe – when I find the time!

    Ethnichybrid: I love comments like yours. I’m glad it helped :)

  8. Clouds are very unsatisfying things to come into contact with. They don’t feel like cotton wool or candy floss as you’d expect, they just tease and melt away when you come close. When you’re back in Aus go skydiving, the height is unfathomable there too and it is surprisingly peaceful up there high above the world. Lovely..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s