It’s only 9 am and I’ve come close to crying more times than I can count. This stress reminds me of heartbreak simply because it’s making me want to crack under the pressure of something huge; something I feel I can’t get through. It’s only a day though. A moment, really. And moments pass. I thought heartbreak would never pass – but it did, and if I got through that, I can get through a few hours of hard work, surely.
And then I’ll be on a plane. I love flying. I’m afraid of heights but when I’m on a plane, that height is unfathomable to me so I’m not frightened of it. Instead, I’m eternally fascinated: I love the grumbling rush of the plane as it ploughs down the runway, I find the lift-off always takes me by surprise – it always happens sooner than I expect – and I love that feeling of suddenly being weightless and airborne. I never tire of seeing the earth shrink by degrees, and watching cars and humans rush around their day like tiny lego people in a child’s make-believe world. Then, even that disappears under layers and layers of cloud. Those clouds. I wish so much that I could play in them.
I am really looking forward to the holiday. I need one badly. But there are people I will miss at home, even though I’m just leaving for a few weeks. Funny how you come across people you feel you can’t live without, even for a few days! It’s not that you can’t – it’s more that you just don’t want to. In a way, I think that’s even more powerful.
Being on a plane is, to me, a tiny holiday all on its own. I’m not a huge fan of airports but once I’m on the plane everything’s just fine. I strap into my seat, pull out my trusty iPod, the book I’ve chosen (very carefully) to last me the duration of the flight and my journal – just in case the mood takes me to write. I read and listen to music until the stewardess hands out the little ear plug thingy – which I’ve now realized I don’t need, because my iPod earphones fit just fine and the sound is much better when I use them. But I take the other pair of earphones anyway, just because I love plane things and how they come in their little plastic packaging!
By this time I would have hungrily gone through the in-flight movie schedule and painstakingly picked out what I want to see – usually around 3 or 4 according to how long the flight is. Flying on a new airline – as I will be doing tonight – always makes me a little anxious because I’m unfamiliar with their entertainment system. Still getting myself accustomed to it never takes long.
Once I put on my movie – that’s it; I’m good for the entire flight. I only break briefly to run to the loo or to graciously accept my plane food – another delight. I mentioned in a previous post that I loved finding order in the littlest things. This is another example of that. I love how everything comes in their neat little square or rectangular containers and how it all fits into that one tray. It’s such a delight, honestly. The only thing that’ll ruin it for me is if the dessert’s not fun.
So basically a plane provides me with everything I love to do to relax and gets me to fit it all into a few hours. A perfect mini-holiday.
That is, of course, until I reach the destination of my real holiday. I can’t wait.
I have so much work to do today – but dashing this out has me feel much more cheerful. It’s funny and kind of cool how I write to work through my sulks.
I’m going to get on a plane today. And I’m going to fly towards some of the people who love me and who I love the most in the world.
What could be better than that?