Vintage Luggage Parmiters Antiques Southsea, by Geishaboy

I’ve been dawdling over my packing the last few days. Knowing it has to be done but loitering over it anyway – indecisively putting clothes in and taking them out again; making patterns on my bed with lipsticks and blush brushes.

I like packing. I hate order in life but like finding order in little things. A well-packed suitcase is a thing of wonder. Pressed and ironed clothes make geometric designs in the case, all the while maintaining a smooth, flat surface. Then comes that tricky layer in the middle where the bulky, shapeless items go: shoes, handbags, that perfume he gave me, the cream I just bought, still in it’s box. I stuff under wear and scarves to fill in the cracks. And perhaps the most trickiest to pack: bras. I wish I was a small-breasted girl who didn’t need them, but alas, I am not and I do.

Yes, I like packing – but it stresses me out. I don’t stress easy but this always gets me. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because packing is kind of like predicting the future – or at least taking a stab at it. You pack according to what you think you’ll be doing. But no one really knows, do they? I have a rough idea – I’ll be seeing my sisters, my friends, my aunt in her house by the beach. But what about those delicious unknowns in between? How to plan for those? How to pack for those?

I’ve never been a fan of prediction. I deliberately don’t read horoscopes because I think it’s bad luck. Superstition turned on it’s head, I know. Still, it is what it is. I may not have lived long, but I’ve been alive long enough to know that life knocks the socks off you if you try plan it too much. So, I don’t.

People push me to make this arrangement and that and I obediently do what’s required – nod – and say what’s required – ‘oh yes I must’ – and promptly forget about it. It’s not that I’m stubborn or even lazy, it’s just that I kind of want to see where life takes me. I know it’ll take me somewhere.

It’s not as if I want to sit on a couch all day and hope something great will materialize out of thin air. I just want to do what I do… And then see.

Trying too hard has always spoiled things for me. I don’t intend to prove myself any more correct than I’ve already done in the past.

So when I pack, I always feel a little like I’m packing blind. It’s exciting, because it makes me feel closer to my destination. But all that planning gives me a headache. I also don’t want to kick myself later and think “all that planning and I forgot to bring underwear”.

Speaking of which, I’ve forgotten to put in my pyjamas. Note to self.

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The real truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it. - Ally McBeal

10 thoughts on “Packing.”

  1. Yes, I shall now look upon my packing with different eyes. Germany next sunday is not going to be too planned :) You and your writing makes me re-think my own life and fills me with wonder. Few people i know have been able to do that. One more reason why I love you.

  2. Aah, the wonder of being a guy. I run home an hour before the flight, shower, stuff my backpack with laptop, chargers, t-shirts, undies and a denim and I’m good to go! I only plan if I’m going on business, but that too is restricted to hand-carry luggage.

  3. Serendib: Haha. No books? I always agonize about which book to take and which to reluctantly leave behind.

    Dee: Thanks :)

    Vivi: Not planning is best. Enjoy Germany. I’m sure you will – you make any place beautiful. Thanks for the wonderful comment.

    JD: :) See you in 2 days!

    Penny Says: Thanks!

  4. JP – Thanks :)

    Serendib – I spent much of my day today browsing second hand book stores. Sydney is full of them and I *love* them. There’s something about buying a used book that I love. It’s been read and enjoyed by someone before you and you’re taking that history with you. It’s charming.

  5. I travel alot so um backing alot in the first i was thinking deeply what to get what to leave and its a very confusing thing really … and watching my friends make me feel sick more and more they know exactly what to get , how they do it idk.. so here what i do i pack before i leave for 15 min. not to think about it whatever i get i get and to my friends Go To Hell…

    To you Gypsy : i love every thing you wrote :)

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